Following an eventful dating year in 2010, with little to show for it other than a list of comical horror dating stories, I've decided that I need a more focused route to love. Taking the advice and recommendations of a close friend and an even closer family member, I've decided to get a 'dating education'. Now, I'm a little sceptical at best about love thyself help books, but seeing as my track record is billed to headline its own comedy act, I'm the beggar and I can't be choosy. Lets not get it twisted, I'll be choosy about my men, but right now I have been classified, by those that shall remain nameless (you know who you are), as being in need of HELP!
So to get started I've been advised to read two books. The first is 'Think like a man, Act like a Lady by Steve Harvey. A low down on how men think, how to understand their simple mindset, and how use it to your advantage to capture the man of our dreams. Anyone who knows anything about black comedy knows that Steve can get your knickers on the brink of damp with his too true to life gags. However, his book was surprisingly serious enough for me to think twice about my past behaviour with men. That's not to say that he didn't get a few laughs out of me with his 'uhmmm girl' examples. One page in and I was hooked, knocking out the whole book in a matter of hours, 5.5 to be exact.
I am ashamed to say that I was also too embarrassed to read the book openly in public, for the fear of all the funny looks on the train commute to work. You know the kind, 'sorry, needy ass bunny reading that crap, too desperate for words. Weak, just weak'. And that was just the women. All the men were giving me daggers like I was their gold digging ex-wife that just cleared them out for a cold £5m. I knew deep down all you women wanted to know what secrets I was learning inside those covers. Sad how spiteful some women can be. That said, the need to enjoy my book in peace forced me, notice how I said forced...lol, to use a SKY ad pull out to wrap the cover. If you want the secrets, go and buy your own book!!!
Steve's first and most valid point was based on the fact that men are simple creatures. Unlike us, they categorically CANNOT multi-task, no matter what he tells you. This would be coming from the same guy who couldn't even eat his dinner whilst he's favorite football team was playing. Baring this in mind Steve goes on to say that a man can not commit to you until he has figured out his Life plan and has achieved his goal or is at least actively and comfortably on the way to achieving it. Until then, he's just too preoccupied with making it happen to make time for you. In that instant, by childhood sweetheart popped to mind. He was exactly one of those men. Always fighting for a plan, but seemingly sidetracked by the relationship we were having. At the time, I was too young and naive to know the signs, and used to stress myself over the heartache of things not progressing as I THOUGHT they should. Now I just realise that it wasn't our time, but that took me over ten years to decipher! Oh, and 2 mins of reading this book! Pissed. It did make me wonder why relationship books or workshops weren't handed out at school, or even passed down in this fashion from mother to daughter over the years. Instead, we get bombarded with 'plant gestation' and sex ed. How hard is it to realise that a stick and hole match? Its much harder working out other stuff that supports or leads to it. Where else do you think Steve and others made their money. Would have saved the government a whoooole lot a money in single parent benefits.
There's a lot more to the book, but I won't spoil it for you all in one go.
The second book was The Complete Book of Rules; How to capture the heart of Mr Right. I know you all know it, and so will I soon. Still working my way though it with the handy aid of my SKY ad ;-). Almost there and looking forward to putting the advice of both books in to action. Watch this space to see if the so called 'help', is actually that helpful.
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